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Can I Make My Fortune From My Buttocks? Oily George Says Yes!
Oily I was wondering if there is an opening for a guy like me in your movies. I am 6 feet tall, tanned and my buttocks are pert. I can whistle the back catalogue of the Beatles whilst under water and...
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Michael Jackson, Moonwalking and Cats Don’t Mix – By Bob On The Pot
Hello, I visited my sister Roberta a fortnight ago to help her gangly wastrel partner Darren, a man who once tried to steal my roof, plumb in their new washing machine. What I know about plumbing you...
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The London Eye Sports A Cumberland Sausage! – Sausage Request #53
This week’s request comes from a very fine Australian, The Bilge Bucket whose blog you can FIND HERE The London Eye has become a London landmark and as landmarks go, it certainly is. It goes round and...
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Barbecues – The Do’s and Don’ts – By Bob On The Pot
Hello, With warmer weather comes the need to barbecue. For those of you who are foreign firstly, it is not your fault. Secondly, barbecues are a recent phenomenonenonenonenon here in the UK....
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Crackhead In The Cupboard Says; “Manners Maketh Man!”
Hi Kids, Whilst I am a lowly Crackhead In A Cupboard, I still remember me P’s and Q’s towards my Crack supplier. Although the benefits of this polite approach were not immediate (necessitating...
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Crackhead In The Cupboard Warns About The Perils Of Cigarettes
Hi Kids, Smoking Tobacco Is Bad For YOU! This applies to Cigarettes, Cigars, Cigarillos and Pipes (but not crack pipes). I would also counsel against smoking petrol, carpets and/or soap. Do not...
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Crackhead in the Cupboard Says – Give Blood To Save Lives!
Hi Kids, Giving blood is one of the best things we can do to help others! Unfortunately due to my shared needle experience in years past (another money saving tip for a future post) my blood is not...
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“I Was Taking Drugs For Britain!” Says Crackhead In The Cupboard
Hi Kids, It is your duty to take drugs! As the Government now includes proceeds from drugs and prostitution in official statistics I am proud that my Crack habit has helped pull the country out of...
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Safaris On The Cheap With The Tight Fisted Traveller
Recently we enquired about the cost of a Safari to Kenya. “Just for two mate, not the entire cast of Hair!” I replied to the quote the sweaty travel agent provided. As we left, we bumped into our old...
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Crackhead in the Cupboard’s –“Christmas Drug Tips”
Hi Kids, Christmas can be a tricky time for opiate users! My former dealer Dinsdale used to pack up shop and head off to the lovely island of Santorini to help an archeological dig over the Holiday...
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